Feedback for first draft edit

This is the IT technician above giving me feedback on my first edit draft and he has this feedback shown below:

• 0:10 - Turn phone down 
• 0:11 - Camera is to zoomed in (need headroom)
• 0:27 - Shadow in frame
• 0:32 - Fixed? 
• 0:40 - Cut out length 
• 1:02 - Move shot ramidy
• 1:34 - Add interactive overlay 
• Add sound track of messages 
• 2:26 - Cut down 
• cut on action 
• Livestream sequence you on too long 

The feedback I'm giving myself are the following:

• When she's cutting her hair in the scene I will add a snipping sound and mute that part of the scene 
• Add donations to the live stream part of live 
• Add a dramatic music awards the end 
• Adding a donation sound track 

Draft edit 1

Production week 9

Monday - Finishing the rushes log and doing the offline edit 

Tuesday - Starting the edit decision list 

Wednesday - Finishing the edit design list 

Thursday - Doing the first edit draft 

Friday - Doing the proof of edit and sound element report for their first edit draft 

Proof of editing and sound report 1

In this image above I was editing the videos what I have done first is add the title of the movie shorting some scenes thats I don't need or things thats don't match which I have added a black scene to show a fade in after this I added a apple ring tone then after that adding the mouse clicking in the scene further down. 

In this image what I have done is add a template or the live stream and adding titles above so then the number can change on screen and can be modified and I was cutting down clips that was to long or I didn't need. 

In this last part what I have done is add a iPhone spam notifications and another phone call sound also adding a title for the credits sense and a black scene for the fade in from the last scene to the credits and thats all for the first edit. 

Edit desicion list

Offline edit

This is the offline edit where I make another video but I take out the scenes thats I discarded from the rushes log shown below:

Rushes log

Clip Number	Clip Duration	Clip File Name	Clip Description of action	Lighting Techniques in Clip	Camera Settings and Camera Techniques in Clip	Use/ Discard?
1	0:00-0:04	Rent	This is when mere reaches to here bills	Natural lighting	Right side high angle	USE
2	0:04-0:08	Documents	The is the person was holding the bills	Natural lighting	Straight medium	DISCARD
3	0:08-0:12	Phone	This is where the phone is ringing	Natural lighting	Straight low angle	USE
4	0:12-0:34	Phone conversation 1	This is where the she is talking to the landlord	Natural lighting	Straight high angle	USE
5	0:34-0:44	Phone conversation 2	This is where the she is talking to the landlord	Natural lighting	Straight high angle	USE
6	0:44-0:50	Tear drop	This is where she is relived to here the news and has a tear of joy	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
7	0:50-1:02	Phone conversation 3	This is where the she is talking to the landlord	Natural lighting	Straight high angle	USE
8	1:02-1:04	End call	This is where she ends the phone call	Natural lighting	Straight low angle	DISCARD
9	1:04-1:14	Laptop typing 1	This is where she is typing on the laptop trying to find and search for something to make money off	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
10	1:14-1:29	Camera battery dies 1	This is where she is typing on the laptop trying to find and search for something to make money off of	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
11	1:29-1:35	Camera battery dies 2	She has gone live on a website called OF live and someone has joined	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
12	1:35:-1:45	Camera battery dies 3	This where she is talking to the viewer on the live	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
13	1:45-1:49	Camera battery dies 4	Confused on what she the viewer has said	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
14	1:50-2:08	Camera battery dies 5	This where she is talking to the viewer on the live	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
15	2:09-2:19	Camera battery dies 6	This where she is talking to the viewer on the live	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
16	2:20-2:36	Camera battery dies 7	This where she is talking to the viewer on the live and doing what's requested	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
17	2:37-2:49	Laptop typing 2	This is where she is typing on the laptop trying to find and search for something to make money off	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
18	2:49-2:56	Laptop typing 3	This is where she is typing on the laptop trying to make a account to go live	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
19	2:57-3:40	Going live	This is where she is live and talking with the viewer	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
20	3:40-4:05	Looking for lipstick 1	This where she has asked too put lipstick on and she's trying to find	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
21	4:06-4:43	Looking for lipstick 2	This where she has asked too put lipstick on and she's trying to find	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
22	4:43-5:11	Putting on dress	This where she is asked to put on a a dress	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
23	5:11-5:20	Flirt	This is where she is flirting with the viewer	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
24	5:20-5:26	Confused	This where she is confused about the donation	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
25	5:26-5:47	Waiting response	This is where she is asked something and she is not comfortable	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
26	5:48-6:24	Cutting hair 1	This is where she is asked to cut some of here hair off	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
27	6:25-6:27	Crop	Mistake filmed scene	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
28	6:28-6:34	Cutting hair 2	This is where she is asked to cut some of here hair off	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
29	4:34-7:16	Last request 1	This is where she is asked a very uncomfortable request	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
30	7:17-7:55	Last request 2	This is where she is asked a very uncomfortable request	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
31	7:56-8:03	Stressed 1	This is where she is stressed about the info that username sent	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	DISCARD
32	8:04-8:12	Stressed 2	This is where she is stressed about the info that username sent	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
33	8:13-8:23	Notifications leaks	This where here phone is getting loaded with notifications with all here details and explicit photos being leaked online	Natural lighting	Right side high low angle	USE
34	8:24-8:33	Crying	This is where she is pleading for username to stop doing what he is doing	Natural lighting	Straight medium angle	USE
35	8:34-8:52	Random caller	This is where she is frustrated and she east a cal from a random person	Natural lighting	Straight high low angle	USE